Courage

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell

Courage is central to our concept of heroism.

It conjures images of the fireman running into the burning building. The soldier storming the beach. David standing up to Goliath.

Cinematic moments of exceptional bravery and sacrifice.

But life plays out on a billion small screens—each of us living lives that feel anything but heroic, yet call us to courage all the same.

We need to reframe what real courage looks like.

Because few of us will ever be called to those Hollywood moments. That’s not real life.

It’s the aggregate of small acts of courage that matter. And it’s the small acts of courage in our own daily lives that have the ability to change us, and the world.

But first, we have to face our fears. That’s where real courage begins.

“Be Scared but don’t be Afraid” - Faulkner

Movie superheroes don’t get scared. That’s why they’re fictional.

Real humans do. Being scared is an automatic, emotional response we don’t control. It’s part of our hardwiring for survival.

The rustling in the bush might be a tiger, so we’re momentarily scared for good reason.

Being afraid is different. It’s a persistent, psychological response to challenging circumstances—typically beyond our control.

And life always is, and always has been, outside of our control. That uncertainty—especially when amplified by the 24/7 news cycle—can keep us in a near-constant state of anxiety.

It’s a small but real act of courage every day to resist the fears of an uncertain future for ourselves, our families, and now, our countries.

It requires mental strength, often forged in the fires of our own personal trials and tribulations.

The Hero’s Journey

I am deeply inspired by the work of Joseph Campbell, an American professor of literature, mythologist, and writer.

His work explores the universal structure behind myths and storytelling, known as the Hero’s Journey—found in every human civilization across the ages.

He identified the consistent, cyclical path of transformation where an ordinary person is called to face trials, gains wisdom, and returns changed.

We are all the heroes in our own journey.

We will all be called from the comfort of the world as we know it into the unknown.

We all need to find the courage to slay our own dragons. Those dragons are a metaphor for the fears in our own mind.

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My son’s seizures as a baby forced me to confront a parent’s deepest fears.

A terrifying three-headed dragon as big as a skyscraper.

I was initially suffocated by the fear. Paralyzed by uncertainty. Cowering in terror at the enormity of this monster that had set our world on fire.

Had I allowed it, it would have consumed me.

But I recognized that all the uncertainty I was fearing was out of my control. And that something terrifying and tragic could happen to anyone I know, love, or care about at any point.

I found the courage to grab a twig on the ground that was hopelessly inadequate against the beast. Yet somehow, the very act of standing up to it pushed it back.

I made a choice not to let fear rob me of joy. And as I continued to stand in defiance of the fear, I grew bigger—and the dragon got smaller.

I’ve accepted that there would be more scary moments. And there have been. The worst and scariest moments of my life are viscerally burned into my psyche.

As I write that, the energy from those memories surges through me and causes me to cry for a moment.

I still remember and feel the pain viscerally. Our emotions live in our body, not just our mind.

Fear is turning away from it. Suppressing it. Numbing it with substances.

Our dragons feed on our avoidance. 

Courage is sitting with those painful emotions and memories. Not shrinking from them. Not pushing them away.

As a man, it’s the opposite of what’s been modeled for me by culture. The strong, stoic, emotionless man.

“Real men don’t cry.”

Bullshit.

I fight this dragon by opening up about it. Sharing my pain in order to release it. And give permission to others to release their own.

And we all carry pain with us. We all carry trauma. We all have our own dragons to slay.

And we all have to find the courage to grow.

Everyday Heroes

Part of my journey has been raising money for epilepsy research by doing triathlons.

And miraculously, 45 people have joined in the fight with me this year.

In a beautiful coincidence, our team is raising money for a non-profit called Henry’s Heroes.

Naturally, the team shorthand has become: “Heroes, unite!”

Each member of the team heeded a call to leave their world of comfort and do something heroic in service of someone else.

They may find this a catalyst to give them strength and courage to rise up to their own dragons.

In the myths and legends that Joseph Campbell studied, the story ends. But our human journey continues.

“Behind mountains, there are mountains,” is a Jamaican proverb that reminds us when we slay one dragon, another may rise up.

But our hardships give us the strength and belief in our ability to do more than we knew we were capable of. 

Each experience fuels our growth and allows us to reach new heights.

We begin to realize we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams.

That we can slay any dragon life throws at us.

We need only set aside our fear—and step into our courage.

-Coach Kris

P.S. I wish I had found this documentary earlier in my life. Alas, we are right where we are supposed to be, always, so I’m grateful to have found it last year.

Finding Joe is an engaging and inspiring account of the work of Joseph Campbell recounted by celebrities like Rashida Jones, Tony Hawk, as well as spiritual leaders and thinkers like Deepak Chopra and Robin Sharma and more.

It is a treasure and I’m going to make my kids watch it with me today because it’s Father’s Day!