Gratitude
“It’s a beautiful life, If you let it be” - Erika Wennerstrom
What a week.
Work stress is at an all-time high. The kind that wakes you up at 4 a.m. and keeps your mind spinning, draining whatever energy you were hoping to carry into the next day.
Fatigue turns to despair as I scroll headlines about the world: the cruelty, the violence, the feeling that humanity is stuck in an endless loop of indifference to suffering.
And just when I start to relax into the weekend, a vivid, painful reminder that alcoholism still has a grip on someone I love deeply.
And yet, despite the weight of it all, I’m light this morning.
Catching up on sleep and the and the extra hour sure helps. But it’s more than that.
When I widen the aperture beyond the stress and pain, I see a much bigger picture.
When I train my attention to appreciate the things, big and small, it rebalances the inevitable heaviness we all feel in our lives.
Both are always there. It’s a matter of what we focus on. What we practice.
I’ve been building that practice ever since my son had his first seizure 12 years ago. Intentionally looking for all the beautiful moments that are so easy to miss and take for granted.
Especially when things are hard.
The Bias to the Bad
Humans come hardwired with a negativity bias—an evolutionary feature that helped our ancestors survive.
We react to bad things faster, remember them longer, and dwell on them more deeply. That’s the brain doing its job. For our ancestors, being alert to threats meant survival.
The problem? Most of today’s “threats” aren’t life-or-death. They’re emotional. Social. Psychological.
We ruminate about our finances. Our jobs. Our kids. Our status. Our relationships. The future of democracy. The planet. Our own potential.
The list is endless. And our brains love to loop them. Neurons that fire together wire together. That’s why we tend to ruminate on the big things that trouble us endlessly.
But here’s the thing, We are not our thoughts. And our thoughts are not facts.
The negativity bias is strong. But just like physical muscles, the mental ones that shift us out of negativity can be trained.
Awareness is the first step. Paying attention to what you’re paying attention to so you can shift.
Mental Push-Ups
We’ve had a painting in our kitchen that says “Gratitude” for 13 years. That doesn’t mean we always practice it.
It’s like having the word “Push-Up” on your wall. Doesn’t mean much if you don’t do the work.
And gratitude takes work. Mental work.
Our brains only make up 3% of our body weight but use 25% of our energy. They’re lazy for a reason, they’re maximally efficient. Negative thoughts happen on autopilot. Reframing takes effort.
Recognizing when we’re caught in a spiral and shifting to a wider perspective is a mental push-up.
Some days, you can barely do one. But if you show up consistently, your capacity builds.
You don’t stop having negative thoughts—you just don’t stay stuck in them as long.
Breath as a Bridge
Gratitude is intimately tied to presence. You can’t be anxious and fully present at the same time.
When we slow our breathing and bring awareness to the inhale and exhale, we calm the amygdala and reengage the prefrontal cortex. The body softens. The mind settles.
And in that stillness, space opens. Choice becomes possible.
Suddenly you start to realize that we are literally surrounded by countless things we can be grateful for. The little things like comfy clothes, a nice house, your cute pup…
As presence expands. You notice things that were there all along but lost to the noise. That we miss while we worry about the things that are typically out of our control to begin with.
It’s a matter of intention and perspective. We are always in a perspective and we can always shift into a new one if we choose.
Nature, Music, and the Beautiful Mess
Long before I understood any of this, before neuroscience or mindfulness entered my life, nature and music helped me find this place.
As a young kid, I spent long stretches of summer with my grandparents on an island in northern Canada. No TV. No phone. Just water, trees, silence, and wonder.
It was a refuge from a very different world back home.
So Friday, after collapsing under the weight of the week, I headed to the woods.
The trees were lit up in their October fire. The beauty is staggering. It takes me out of myself and the mental grip of whatever has taken hold of my mind starts to release.
I walked. I bathed in the energy of nature. I shifted.
Coming out the other side I had wiped the clean most of the stress that covered my mind all day.
Feeling lighter, I popped in my earbuds. A song came on that I’ve heard many times, but this time it resonated in a new way.
The title: It’s a Beautiful Life.
I stopped walking. I listened as I pulled up the lyrics.
I laughed out loud as they said everything I was feeling. Everything I’d been wrestling with. As if the universe had queued it up to remind me.
And the line that stuck with me—maybe one that will stay with you too—was this:
“It’s a beautiful life… if you let it be.”
Letting it be doesn’t mean pretending the hard stuff doesn’t exist. It means not being paralyzed by it. Not letting it obscure everything else.
This week, like every week, will bring more challenges I can’t control. My world will contract into tunnel vision on things that piss me off and scare me. And I’ll get stuck in it that space.
But this practice helps me spend less time there. To shift back into an appreciation for the bigger picture.
For the wonder and beauty of this messy human experience. How grateful I am for all of it.
-Coach Kris
P.S. Put some headphones on and hit play. Take a few deep breaths and let this song wash over you. (This full album is a masterpiece for the times.)
It’s A Beautiful LIfe
I can see now the road is clear
Been looking for the signs there to steer me
Break a mold that's ages old
Shake patterns from the trees towering above me
Oh like a newborn baby
I will begin again
And I open up my arms wide and I'm not holding on
Free to be me beautiful and strong
It's a beautiful life
It's a beautiful life if you let it be
I found the key to my loneliness
I had to find a new space within
Life in perpetual motion
I keep moving on
And I open up my arms wide and I'm not holding on
Free to be me beautiful and strong
It's a beautiful life
It's a beautiful life if you let it be
Stop letting fear distance one another
Can we be good to each other
Can you hear me crying through these growing pains
Can you hear me laughing through these growing pains
Oh my heart is open, is open, is open
Oh my heart is open, is open
It's a beautiful life if you let it be
It's a beautiful life if you let it be
